This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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