im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
