Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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