i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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