I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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