Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She announced her abortion via fbk
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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