who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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