I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
