He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
