I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
