It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
