did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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