I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
4 words: hood of his car
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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