so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
