OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
