i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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