Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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