so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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