He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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