I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
