we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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