Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
