What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
