In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
