i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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