So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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