I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
