Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
