so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
