after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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