Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
