Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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