where am i from again
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
