so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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