Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
