I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
