I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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