so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
