I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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