he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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