I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
