My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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