I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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