i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
