I love black thongs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
