remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
