There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
