You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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