So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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