The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
