Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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