Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
